


Advice: Crash And Hope For The Best

by The_Mouse_of_Anon



Series: Emergency Fics [9]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bart's probably not as helpful as he should be, M/M, Relationship Advice, somehow Colin continues to be the sane one out of his friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 01:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mouse_of_Anon/pseuds/The_Mouse_of_Anon
Summary: Colin needed some advice. Nothing big, but it was awkward. So who did he go to? The one person he could have a conversation with like this who would make things the least awkward: none other than Bart Allen himself.Prequel toFollowing Advice and Crashing in the Best Way Possible.





	Advice: Crash And Hope For The Best

**Author's Note:**

> After long last, the 9th of my Emergency Fics. The request for this one was Colin and Bart being friends with a side of Bluepulse and DamiColin. This was the direct result. I hope you enjoy.

“Ummmm… Bart? Could I ask you a question?” Colin asked while awkwardly rubbing at the back of his head. He didn’t always go looking for advice, but he needed some help. More specifically he needed help with Damian. And honestly the only person he felt comfortable talking to about the issue was Bart. It was a weird friendship (like almost every friendship Colin seemed to make).

Bart pushed away from the console he’d been working at (he’d actually picked up a lot of hacking skills from Tim once he’d actually decided to sit still and learn) and said, “Sure kid. Whatcha need?”

Colin made a face. “I’m _sixteen_. And you’re only three years older than me.”

Bart waved the comment off as he leaned back in his chair. “Except I’m a speedster, so a day is like a dog-year to me. So technically those three years make me waaaayyy older than you.”

Colin rolled his eyes, but grabbed the back of another chair to tug it over so he could sit down. It was nice to have a base where they could stay between missions if they had to, but hacking or sorting through information was sometimes the most boring part of the whole heroing thing. Colin preferred to avoid it, so he tended not to like staying in this particular room for long. But again, Bart was the only one he felt comfortable asking about something that made him feel so awkward. “That doesn’t count. And if it did then you’d be too old for Jaime.”

A laugh escaped Bart before he retorted, “In case you haven’t noticed Colin, we’re with an alien scarab who’s technically thousands of years older than both of us. We’re already doing weird age things in our relationship. Have been for roughly two years now.”

Colin cocked his head to the side and said in a vaguely confused tone, “I thought you started dating them when you were sixteen.”

Bart shrugged. “Khaji Da didn’t get involved until I was seventeen, so I count it from then. More fair that way.”

“Huh…” Colin mulled that over for a moment or two.

“Anyway, you wanted to ask me something?”

“Yeah,” Colin agreed, “It’s kind of about that actually. Well, not that precisely, but um…”

Well _this_ was certainly interesting! Bart steepled his fingers together (not unlike an over-the-top B-movie villain) and eyed Colin thoughtfully. After a moment he asked, “So what can I, the future-brat guru of weird relationships, help you with?”

“…Why are all my friends so weird?” Colin muttered after a moment or two. Before Bart could answer (Colin really didn’t want to know what he was thinking about saying judging by that wicked glint in his eyes) he added, “What I wanted to ask was… well… You’ve been in a relationship with them for a while. How did you even get their attention?”

Bart blinked. “Wow, rude.”

“ _That’s not what I meant!_ ”

The speedster laughed again. “Sorry, I know, but you walked into that one.”

“ _Bart._ ”

Making a placating gesture, Bart said, “Okay, okay, sorry. Trying to get someone’s attention?” Colin gave Bart a look that might as well have said ‘you’re being dumb.’ “So it _is_ Damian.”

“No it’s not Damian– of _course_ it’s Damian! Who else would it be?”

Bart snickered. “A fair point. So?”

Colin sighed and said, “So how did you do it? How did you get them to pay attention so that you could ask them to go out with you or whatever?”

Oh this was _too_ good. Bart knew he was going to be teasing Colin with this for a while, but it could wait. “Honestly? I started flirting at Jaime when I was thirteen, and like a complete doofus just couldn’t seem to stop. And after I got closer to him and started to get to know Khaji Da? Once I started crushing on him I kept flirting at him like a giant goober even though I was trying to stop because I was worried about chasing him off. I literally got together with them by having almost no filter.”

A beat. Two. Colin looked horrified at the thought. “You mean you started flirting at them without _any_ restraint as soon as you started crushing on them?!”

“Well there was _some_ restraint. I didn’t do anything creepy like turning up in their bed without any forewarning.”

Colin stared. Silence stretched. Finally he said, “That isn’t even remotely close to relationship advice. I think I’m going to die.”

Bart shrugged again. “Yeah, I’m kind of not that much help in that department. Relationship advice while you’re _in_ a relationship I’m good for. Leading up to it? Not so much. Best I can offer is ask him out. Maybe give him something sharp and pointy while you’re at it.”

“Sharp and pointy?” Colin echoed.

“It’s Damian. He’d probably scoff at chocolate or flowers. Something sharp and pointy though? You’ll probably have him falling for you in no time. Or more like actually admitting it.”

“Thanks…” Colin got up and headed for the door, pausing to look back before he left the room. “And Bart?”

“Hm?”

“I would ask where you get the insight into anti-social stabby-people, but I think the answer to that is obvious.”

Bart grinned, even as he scooted his chair back toward the console. “That all?”

“And you’re weird, but you knew that already. And before you say it, I already know all my friends are weird.”

“Welcome to the club,” Bart chuckled as Colin left. Oh this was going to be _reeeeaaalllly_ interesting. Doing some quick math in his head, his grin widened. “And that’s at least three people on the team losing that bet,” he said before going back to what he’d been working on. He’d had a feeling that Colin would only wait so long before acting.


End file.
